Crowns & Tiaras

A lovely crystal, pearl and seed bead headpiece

So, I had the opportunity this past Sat. and Sun. to be a judge for the Miss Teen Grand Rapids, pageant. It has been many, many years since I've been involved in anyway with this scene - my last time was as a contestant myself! In many ways, it was refreshing to be surrounded by fresh faces, those kind of at the beginning of discovering who they are, and such optimism. There is always the cynical side of me, that kicks in too and wonders who's dreams they're truly living out...but I stop myself, because I'm there to assist in crowning a young woman, and hopefully use skills I've developed to get to know them a little and encourage their development a little.



It caused me to reflect a little on other times in a woman's life where there is an opportunity for a "crown" and that relates to me and what I do. Being involved in the stage of life where a woman chooses to commit to another individual is quite an honor - one that I take very seriously. Many of us don't take the "headpiece" that we will wear as seriously as we should-perhaps and it becomes an after thought or add-on, rather than part of the ensemble.

I guess I'm old fashioned in that way (however, I prefer to call it classic!). Just as in so many other aspects of our lives, we're in a rush...don't take the time to enjoy the 24 we have in front of us.



Back to considering the piece we adorn our tresses with...let me encourage you to treat it also as a "big deal"...a completion to the overall look you are trying to establish. If necessary, shop for it on another day - the quest for the right gown can be physically and emotionally draining, so be fresh for this pursuit as well! But...make sure it makes sense with the main garment, that it compliments - but is also at the same time an extension of you! just like your gown.



And just like these lovely young women...your wedding day is another of your crowning moments!

Making something from the old

I am often approached about the use of other gowns- Mom/Grandma/Mom-in-law and if they can be incorporated into the new design.

The simple answer is yes!  And my motto is "anything is possible".  There are multiple ways to add the presence and history into the new design that create something incredibly remarkable.  What I do recommend is making sure that the former owners are willing to let their cherished possession be altered, cut and used in this way.  Next I would do the best job of having these garments professionally cleaned by a reputable dry cleaner who specialize in wedding gowns prior to the designers involvement with these garments.  As special and beautiful as the sentiment of using these garments is, it is courteous to give them to the designer and staff  in the best possible working condition ( and best smelling condition as well).

The conversation between yourself and designer is essential in the final outcome and final design of your gown.  The only limitations to what can be is the current condition of materials of the older gowns and how much material there is.  That said, a clever and talented designer will get the maximum usage or "most bang for your buck" from what they are given to work with.  Keep in mind that there will be considerable time involved in carefully taking apart the gowns, to use the fabric and then the careful handling of the fabrics in cutting and assembling.  This is not a simple or free endeavor - but the end result will be stunning and priceless!

If you simply want to have something from these heirlooms, a very sweet and less expensive route is this as pictured!  Enjoy and let your mind think of all the possibilities ...

PREEEEEESENTS!

The holiday shopping season is upon us! And it is the perfect time to get your registry list out to your family—or to get buying for that special couple!

Think about it. Weddings are highly concentrated in the summer, when there are no real holidays and only the occasional deal. Let's face it, many of us buy their gift maybe a month or two before the wedding. But, if the couple were to crank out their registry list early in November and let everyone know early, their family could score some killer deals on the things the couple wants.. You will have to hang onto the goods for a little while, but I think the saved money will more than make up for it.

Wedding gifts are important, not because they are objects to put around their new house, but because they are an opportunity to “love on” your new favorite couple.

When my husband and I were on our honeymoon not twenty minutes away from our house, we could hardly stand that there were so many unwrapped goodies just sitting there!

So what did we do? We pressed pause on everything and drove over to open our presents like a couple of kids on Christmas morning. Yeah, we're dorks. (Hubby edit: awesome dorks) But we had so much fun seeing what our family got us---we found so many funny notes and little gag gifts lurking among our presents. It was so special to open them up together.

Now with that little nugget of knowledge rolling around, here are a few tips for the givers and the receivers to help make this process painless and personal.

For those of you giving to the bride and groom, here is a tip and a few ideas to help make your gift a little more special:

1. Stick to the brands and colors that the bride and groom chose. They made those choices with their living style in mind. My husband and I have a hot-rod red n' chrome kitchen, and a green toaster would make every meal into Christmas. Yikes!
2. Offer to help the bride and the groom pay for some aspect of the wedding! Does the bride have her a special dress in mind that is out of her budget? Is the flower bill breaking the bank? Taking some of the weight off of the bride and groom's shoulders during this stressful, but wonderful time in their life could be the best gift of all.
3. With that said, try to get personal! I know that they have a list of things that they want on their registry, but it was so special to find a little note with well wishes attached to the bag or a burned CD of dorky songs from their best friend.
4. Did the bride and groom run out of ideas? Use your knowledge of your bride and groom to give them something to do when they go home! If they like cooking, maybe pick up a recipe book, a couple aprons, and some ingredients to get them started. Or if cooking is not their thing, get them all set up for the movies with a big ol' blanket, some popcorn, and a series on DVD that they have been meaning to catch up on.

And for the brides and grooms out there, I have a few registry-making tips as well. If you are anything like my husband and I, we live pretty simply and do not like to clutter our pad. On top of that, we have been living at college for four years, so we have accumulated pretty much everything we needed to live. Coming up with a long list of wants was surprisingly tough!

We dutifully visited Target with scanner in hand,. Here are some ideas and tips to get you going.

1. Give the gift of diversity—in prices, that is. A lot of your friends and family will rely on your gift registry, and not all of them can afford a $300 blender. Instead, make sure you sprinkle in some gifts that are $10, $20, and $30 gifts as well. Think of a favorite movie you and your fiancee have shared or a board game you both enjoy and throw that on the list too!
2. Consider asking your family to donate to a charity that you and your fiancee both like. Instead of cluttering your house with things you don't want, you would be helping someone else who has a real need!
3. Be sure to write Thank You letters and have them out before your two month anniversary. It's just good to be prompt and you don't want those guys sitting around forever on your to-do list. Make it a race between you and your new spouse or do them in between the commercials of your favorite show!
   That's all I have for you today, guys and gals! Now it's your turn, for all you couples out there: What was the best gift you got from your wedding and why? Or what was the worst?     

Daughters, be good to your Fathers

Seeing your child get married can be a bit...strenuous. You, the daughter, are going off with the man of your dreams to meet a new half of the family, and you're planning up a storm with all of your best friends and mom....in all of this, dad may feel a little left out. Even my dad, the guy who jokingly told my husband to “take her off my hands, please!” wrung his hands during the planning process of the wedding. Not a Sunday phone call went by when my mom chatted my ear off about how dad was driving her nuts with little details about the wedding that were taking far too long to accomplish. “What are you serving for drinks?” “Have you figured out decorations yet?” “What am I wearing?” It drove us both up the wall.

For some fathers, letting them get involved in the day can be really meaningful for them (and save some sanity for all parties involved). But what is out there for them to do, really? In Western weddings, the main traditions are that the father gives away the daughter during the ceremony and then the father daughter dance during the reception. Not the greatest send off, but what is a guy to do? Seems like all they have to do is show up, but we can do better than that!

I think there is a brainstorm a'brewin in the distance...

One thing that comes to mind is to see if your dad is interested in helping choose your wedding dress. At Vue Design the other day, a bride and her parents came in to try on her muslin copy of her dress, and it was so touching to see the look on his face when he saw his daughter in her practice dress for the wedding. Sure, he was not into it 100% like she and her mother were, but he was there, and I bet he felt happy to be included in the little details.

Here's another: give the man something to do! Let him check out that place where you are looking to have your reception dinner. See if he can set up some sort of deal with the caterer. Play off of his strengths and giving him tasks that are accessible for him.

And also, try to spend some time with your dad! This is a big step for the both of you—enjoy it! If it is your thing, take some dance lessons together, or throw a basketball around, or plan the budget with him. Whatever floats you and your dad's boat!

So here is to being good to your father as you prepare to embark on a new chapter in your life, and to creating new memories with both parents.

Can you think of any other new traditions to do with dear dad? Are there any father/daughter traditions that you have in your family that you plan to do during the process of planning the wedding or during the wedding? Let's hear your thoughts!

Ciao for now, readers!

Planning the Modern Wedding: A Woman's Guide to Grooms

My husband proposed to me on a blustery January afternoon and we were married later that year on August 6^th. Within that seven month period of planning and finishing up my final year at college, I had the most stressful months of my life. There was laughter, there was angst, there was arguing, and there was crying. I am proud to say that the planning experience only reduced me to tears three times (because for me, all stress is directly filtered to my tear ducts).

Throughout that entire experience, my husband was a-mazing and helped me plan the majority of the wedding! .

Now some of you ladies are probably all like: How the Dickens did she get that to happen? I can barely get my man to look at color schemes with me! It's like he doesn't care!

News Flash: He doesn't.

Now don't translate this statement into “He doesn't care about me.” He obviously loves you, if he agreed to marry you! I am merely suggesting, dear reader, is that he just could care less about whether the bridesmaids and groomsmen wore periwinkle or plum. Kudos if he knows what color periwinkle is.

The day itself is much more important to you than it is to them. Women in American culture are expected (and I would argue trained, through the media) to plan this huge event with everyone you ever knew and loved in attendance and it is going to be beautiful and wonderful and clearly the best day of both of you and your fiancee's lives (both to my utter excitement and complete horror). Wedding magazines and websites are aimed directly at us, not at our men, to help us make the day perfect. Just look at TheKnot or any Bridal magazine out there. It is even in the name: BRIDAL—not GROOM-AL.

Men are simply not brought up to dream of their wedding, even though they are the other half of the shindig. Instead, they are taught to dread planning for such a time in their lives. With horror stories of their woman trans-morphing into the destructive control hungry bride-zilla running rampant in their imagination, they just want to solve problems they are presented with, be super easy to please, and do anything in their power to not be in the way of the carnage.

So, to bridge this gap in understanding, I have a handful of tips that my husband and I came up with to ease the stress of planning a wedding.

1. Let your man know what you expect of him. Give him a list of concrete tasks he can do, like a list of venues to investigate, or places to call for cake prices—because even though you do not think you have any idea of how to plan a wedding, he probably knows even less.

2. Find out what gets him excited! I know I could get myself excited about every aspect of the wedding, but looking at flower arrangements for hours on end may not be his cuppa joe. Instead, let him do something he likes, like checking out the DJ or finding a bakery for wedding treats!
   
   
3. Compliment and encourage him when he does well (or even when he did not do all that well! Even though he may not look stressed out with helping, he's probably putting on a strong face for you—make sure you love on your guy!
   
   
4. Take a weekly break from planning the wedding. It is a topic that can consume all of your brain space—I am not kidding—and it will drive you and your guy CRAZY with all of the stress and high expectations! Don't let it eat your life (remember, you like other things: biking, dating, movies, games). Make a “no wedding Wednesday” day! Heck, go on a date! It will keep you both happy.
   
   
5. Finally, remember at the end of your wedding day, you will be husband and wife, and that is the whole point of this day! And also remember, everyone you invited to the wedding probably knows one or both of you on a scale of pretty to really well. Don't fake it and try to be Jennifer Lopez on her wedding day! Be you, because that is who your family and your new family love!
   
   
   Ciao for now readers! See you next week!
   
   
   Oh, by the way:
   
   

   

   ^ This is periwinkle!

   

   ^ This is plum!

   pictures are courtesy of Google images 

A Burning Question

Creating the overall tone of a wedding can be done in a lot of different ways, but color, above all else, is my favorite. For my own wedding, we used jewel tones in the décor, bouquets, and, most importantly, the bridal party's clothing. It was a very formal affair, so I had my ladies wear deep blue dresses with classy peacock hair pins while my husband's men wore peacock boutonnieres and blue ties. Now, I did not do this with my own dress (as some of you might remember. I shared my dress in “Something Borrowed....”,) but would you go as far as adding that shot of bold color in your wedding dress? What about a green wedding gown? Would your family approve of it? If so, check out some gowns from Vera Wang's 2012 bridal line.

Obviously, she uses a lot of color in her wedding gowns. And le gasp! There is even a charcoal gray dress!

Because of the rapid spread and marriage of different cultures throughout the world, the rules and traditions our parents and grandparents were held to for their own weddings are a lot easier to bend and even break today. Traditionally in Eastern cultures for example, the primary color for the bride's wedding dress is red with tones of gold, pink, and orange to compliment, but today they can also get away with having a traditional Western wedding if they wish. And in Western culture, the current trend bends in the direction of if-it-reflects-who-you-are-or-your-personality-as-a-couple-then-go-for-it sort of mentality.

We are a trailblazing generation, ladies and gentlemen—which means that if you can convince the oldest of your family (or at least the oldest of those who are footing the bill) of your ideas for your wedding, you can do basically anything you want.

Like some of Wang's dresses, Vue Design also shies away from the traditional wedding gowns. We hope to move away from the dresses that you would normally see in a bridal shop, in terms of shape, design, fabric, and of course defying traditional colorings of a gown. A good example of one of our own dresses is the Gia dress.

Now here is the burning question for you ladies and gentlereaders: What do you think of colorful wedding gowns? Would you try out a colorful wedding dress for your own nuptials or is it a short lived trend that will be over in another fifty years?

Send us a comment! We would love to hear what you think!  

First three pictures courtesy of verawang.com 

Gia dress picture courtesy of JenPhotography

A Story with Sole

Almost every lady I know has a pair, they come in all sizes (but the taller, the better in some circles), colors, and have a long history reaching as far as ancient Egypt and took root as a fashion statement in the 16^th century Europe.

Yep, high heels. They look so dang cute in the store, colored bright like candy, but wear those puppies for more than a few hours and those poor feet of yours are howling by the end of the night. And men, they have no idea what we go through for that extra two inches.

Or do they?

Well, maybe your best guy friend does not know what it is like to get a nasty blister on the side of their squished toes, but maybe their great, great, great, great, great.....great-great-great grandpa would! One of the most famous heel wearing men of the 1770's was King Louis XIV aka The Sun King, and that man sure had some bossy boots with a side of high fashion. That peacock of a man went so far as to make a royal decree that only people of noble blood could wear red high heels! I am sure all the peasants were green with jealousy. Check out this portrait of the man himself in his treasured heels.

The high heels he wore became the peek of high court fashion and were known only as Louis heels after the king himself. I couldn't find a good picture, but I am told that they had little paintings on the heel depicting stories of great battles. Even kings wanted to draw on their shoes!

He wore them for basically the same reasons women do, I am sure. I am, let's be honest, Louie was a short king and being taller made him look bigger and it follows that he must be powerful as well (or so says the animal kingdom). Plus, look at what those heels did for his calves! Work it, Louis, work it.

He made high heeled shoes a mark of status (the same as when a lady shows off some designer shoes), so when he had them, all the noblemen and ladies had to join in the trend. People want gaga for these shoes.

Speaking of people going gaga, a professor mentioned something to me once that made me scratch my head. He said that in a few generations (not today's twenty-somethings, but maybe their grandchildren), men will probably be back to wearing high heels and tights again. Make-up has already made a come back (think of Goth or Punk subcultures), why not the shoes too?

I am not sure if I would necessarily like that idea, but I think about how easily I had accepted men wearing eye liner...it is but a small leap to go to “women's” clothing too.

What do you think? Will guys go back to frills, lace, and heels—aspects of what is now considered for woman only?

For a more in depth history breakdown of the high heel, check out this source. They go through a more thorough history and have lots of pictures to look at too!

http://www.randomhistory.com/1-50/036heels.html